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Right, so in a break from my usual Sunday night feature post, I thought I’d quickly tell you about this utterly ridiculous and self-tormenting thing that I’m doing in March, for the British Heart Foundation and something they’ve affectionately called Dechox..

I read about the Dechox campaign while snorting down a chocolate cornflake cluster cake in Costa, one Sunday at the arse end of January. Essentially, one gives up all things chocolatey for March, and raises some cash for charity.

My Mum suffers from Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy, a hereditary condition that causes the muscular wall in the heart to become thickened, restricting blood flow. So, anything to do with heart health is pretty close to my, erm, heart. I’ve done a fair bit for the BHF before, and I guess they’re my “go to” charity.

Keen readers will know that I’m something of a fitness freak. People have been known to label me as “super healthy” and “always eating bloody salad”, and while I’m not sure that’s entirely true, I do try and look after myself. And yet…my absolute and unwavering vice is chocolate. Always has been, always will be. I can pack away kilos of the stuff. A sharing bag of Minstrels? No problem at all. A family-sized block of Aero? I’ll take two. Kinder Bueno? I’ll have the white, milk and dark versions in quick succession, ta.

But you know what? You can have too much of a good thing. I felt like a fraud – training for half-marathons, reducing the amount of meat I eat, quitting alcohol, getting 10 portions of fruit and veg a day…yet still keeping the local co-op in business with my ritualistic choccy custom a few nights a week. I’ve wanted to cut back, WAY back, on sugar for a while but I think that would actually kill me so this seemed like a fairly good option. Savage enough for me to notice the deprivation, but not quite brutal enough to send me into a tailspin of withdrawal.

As I write this, I’m on Day 5 and it’s not HORRENDOUS yet. Mainly because, eeks, I’ve been filling the void with cakes, biscuits and sweets. Alright, alright. Fuck off, I’m trying. I’ve brought a couple of “ditch sugar for reals” type books and my plan, at this stage, is to get to the midway point of the month and then try to scale back on all the other shit I’m eating as a replacement for cocoa. In truth I’m not confident about that part at all.

Anyway, I’ll update you from time to time as I go on. I haven’t set up a JustGiving page yet as I was planning to bung the BHF some money on 1st April, but if you’d like to donate to them then please, feel free to follow this link. Or visit one of their charity shops and buy something. LOVE  charity shop, I do.

Now, did someone say lemon drizzle?

Have a good week folks!

 

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