6 minutes to read

A while ago, I was tagged in a photo on Instagram. Shitting hell, I do NOT like unsolicited photo tagging at the best of times, as usually all of my photos are meticulously filtered and cropped so as not to cause permanent eye damage to the viewer. This one was alright though, it was just my buddy Brad over at Dear Agony Dad nominating me for the Liebster Award.

For those that aren’t in the know, The Liebster Award is a social experiment aimed at promoting known and unknown bloggers through a Q&A tag. ‘Liebster’ is Germanic in origin and can mean sweet, kind, lovely, and other various crappy affectionate adjectives. It’s a bit like speed dating for the blogging sect but with more pink carnations and less swipe-left malice.

Logo for Liebster Award which reads "discover new blogs!"

Here’s some general guidelines to follow:

1) Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you and display the award.
2) Answer the eleven questions the blogger gives you.
3) Give eleven random facts about yourself. (Yeah so on that, just take my answers as random facts. I can’t think of 22 clever, witty statements about me.)
4) Nominate eleven bloggers that you think are deserving of this award.
5) Let the bloggers know you have nominated them.
6) Give them eleven questions to answer.

1) At what point in your life did you feel you were ready to become a parent?
I don’t think anyone is truly ready until they’re faced with this squawking, relentlessly tiring infant that they suddenly have to project manage to adulthood. I guess I had an age in mind – 28 – that I knew I wanted to be a mum by. I made the cut off but I’m not sure I was completely ready. You gain a lot by being a parent but you also sacrifice a lot, and that can feel quite tough and isolating at times.

2) What did you just have for dinner?
Jacket potato with tuna sweetcorn mayo, a small mountain of grated cheese, and salad. Today is Thursday, and Thursdays require a low maintenance dinner that I can prep in advance and not have to stir. Stirring based dinners are something of a novelty in my house now, because I have one child in particular who doesn’t let me do anything other than hold her from 4pm onwards.

3) How would you describe yourself to someone that has never met you?
I’m professional yet approachable and empathetic, and I pay close attention to detail with my exceptionally high standards of organisation. Oh wait, that’s my CV. I have brutally low self esteem so I usually trot out the usual gumf about being friendly, sweary, and a bit sarcy with a good sense of humour, then I let people find out for themselves. I do make really good cakes though, always worth a mention!

4) Batman or Superman? *Choose wisely*
Well. To be completely honest I swear allegiance to the Marvel tribe, of which I’m quite partial to Wolverine. As in, I’m quite partial to Hugh Jackman. As Wolverine.

5) How did you come about choosing your kid(s) name?
Tricky to answer this while preserving anonymity! Moo’s name I fell in love with when I was about 16 and watched Cold Feet. Then a few years later one of the main characters in a not insubstantial book / film franchise had the same name, so everyone assumes that’s where I got it from. Aaaaanyway, we had two names for Mouse and I let my husband have the casting vote, because I’m so nice, knowing full well that if we had a second girl I’d give her my dream name. Mouse’s name has about five legit shortenings which I like – I think you should be able to picture your child carrying the name as a baby, teenager and adult. They both have two middle names each, one grandmother hand-me-down name and one month which is significant to them. Christ, that was a boring answer! Sorry.

6) How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Say what? Seashells, I’m sure.

7) What happy memory will you cherish forever?
Giving birth to Moo, which doesn’t detract from the birth of Mouse at all, but it’s the thing I’m most proud of ever ever ever. I wrote about it, funnily enough…

8) If you could move to somewhere in the world right now, where would it be and why?
Oh Australia without question. I’ve always maintained that I’d move there in a flash. Sadly neither me or my husband possess any desirable key skills, so my long term plan is to win the lottery and buy my way in, not even kidding. I’ve only seen a tiny part of it but I instantly knew, having been on Aussie turf for about five minutes, that I could live out my days there in a very contented existence.

9) How do you actually make the perfect cup of tea?

Sigh. Right. You take a large mug with a pleasant motif and a chunky handle. You take a willing friend to share a pot with you and give said friend an equally nice mug that isn’t chipped or stained with residual tannins. You take three Yorkshire Tea bags, formulated for hard water areas (bastard South Coast). Into the pot they go, to be drowned in water that came to the boil not one nanosecond hence. Leave to steep for five minutes without squeezing. Add the merest dash of semi-skimmed milk to the mugs and then pour the tea. You’re looking for brown rather than golden. Serve alongside biscuits for dunking and enough cake for second helpings.

10) Iphone / Android?
Oh, iPhone all the way baby! Although I need a new one. I’ve had the 5S for 2.5 years and I’m holding out for the 7, not that I can probably afford it. If I can afford the phone itself, the insurance will cripple me.

11) What do you enjoy the most about being a parent?
This is a stock bollocky answer but with Moo, I love it when she smiles so widely at me that her eyes vanish. With Mouse, I love having a proper conversation with her, a real exchange of views instead of me peddling out rubbish and getting nothing back. Actually, sod that. Their bedtime is my favourite thing about being a parent.

That’s it! Here are the bloggers I’m tagging (Er, not 11, sorry. Blatant rule flout)

Suzanne from And Another Ten Things
Donna from The Sleep Thief’s Mummy
James from A Life Just Ordinary
Katherine from OddHogg
Terry-Ann from Notaneffingfairytale
Hillie from Turning Up In Devon
Ann from Rainbows are too beautiful


Here are your questions from me:
1) Best burger topping evs?
2) What’s the last book you read, and was it any good?
3) What’s your one must have baby product?
4) What’s your favourite season?
5) You’ve got two unprecedented childless hours. What do you do?
6) What’s your one desert island survival item?
7) Favourite Spice Girl?
8) What’s been your worst job?
9) Does swearing denote a higher level of intelligence?
10) What’s more scary, spiders or clowns?
11) You find £4 in change in the self-service checkout coin dispenser. Do you swipe it?

-SJW October 2016

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