5 minutes to read

I love reading interviews with people’s children, because they usually throw in some absolute gems. The lovely Pat from White Camellias nominated me, and if you’ve read her son’s responses, I can tell you right away that my ensuing post will not tug at the ol’ heartstrings in quite the same fashion. Mouse isn’t backwards at coming forwards and it transpires from her answers that she’s not my biggest fan, actually. Sob.

The #LittleOnes Q&A tag was originally created by Emily from My Petit Canard as a way to mark her daughter’s birthday which I think is a lovely idea – it would be fun do ask a set of similar questions yearly and see how much the responses change. A little aide memoir for wedding day embarrassment, perhapso?

Anyway, over to my eldest, Mouse, for her #LittleOnes interview.

How Old Are You?
93? No, that’s my tall. Three, I think I’m just three. My tall is 93. (That means another 7cm of free entry to Paultons Park, ding ding ding!)

When Is Your Birthday?
Betty. (Her middle name is May, after her birth month, which we’ve taught her. However, her other middle name is Betty, and she seems to think these are interchangeable months of the same value.)

How Old Is Daddy?
Quite old. 93? No, that’s my tall. I don’t know. 70?

How Old Is Mummy?
Quite old as well, like daddy. It was your birthday wasn’t it? It was daddy’s birthday and then your birthday and soon it will be my birthday again. (Well, in another nine months. Time to make another baby before then, bahahahaha.)

What’s Your Favourite Colour?
Green one! And yellow one.

What’s Your Favourite Food?
Sausages, with chippies. (Remember that fucking awful advert for Walls crappy horsemeat and sawdust bangers with the talking dog? This is EXACTLY how she says ‘sausages’.)

What’s Your Favourite Drink?
Waitrose Coffee and Emma Aid! (She means lemonade. I’m slightly appalled by these answers so I’m defaulting to “water” on her behalf.)

Who’s Your Best Friend?
Holly. (This is not the answer I was expecting. She’s met Holly once, at a picnic, about a month ago. They must really have struck up a chord, or she’s fallen out spectacularly with her other best friends at pre-school.)

What’s Your Favourite Programme?
Shimmer and Shine. (Gah!!!!)

What’s Your Favourite Song?
Girl one. (True – since the discovery of the humble wireless, Mouse thinks that girls should like female artists, and boys should like boy ones. Her current favourites are Ellie Goulding and Little Mix, although the Bieber sometimes passes for a girl depending on which song it is.)

What’s Your Favourite Animal?
Triceratops. (Pretty cool answer for a three year old, no?! Although you’re never going to see a real one, sorry love…)

What Is your Favourite Book?
The Jolly Postman. (Now. I LOVED this as a child, and I wet myself with proud glee when I gave Mouse my very own copy from yesteryear. I regret to advise that I now fucking hate it, because it is SO LONG, she disrespects the contents of each envelope by putting them back in the wrong place, and she has ripped some of the pages. Also, with the benefit of adulthood, I would totally be sacking his ass for on-the-job drinking and time wasting.)

What Are You Scared Of?
The River Monster. (I’ve taught Mouse that there’s a monster in the river behind our house, who sleeps all day in the sewerage pipe, and spends the night slithering up to each house and checking that all the children are behaving. He’s got red glinting eyes and he smells of shit, what with living in the shit pipe and everything. I’m quite proud of myself for cultivating such a strong fear.)

What Makes You Happy?
Daddy. (Oh, sure.)

What Is Your Favourite Thing To Do?
Mmmm… (pauses to think while entire swathes of time roll by) I like to make tomatoes from Playdough and eat ice cream in the garden with my feet on the chair.

Where Is Your Favourite Place To Go?
Waitrose! Are we going today?

What Do You Want To Do Today?
I just said, I want to go to Waitrose. Or I could go to nursery? Or Nana’s house? (I get the impression that I’m something of a back-up choice today, sadface.)

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
The Tooth Fairy. (Really? REALLY?! Meh, fair enough. As long as she marries someone rich.)

What Do You Like Helping Mummy Do?
Changing Moo’s bum. (I recently put Moo on the rug in the living room while I washed up. Mouse trotted out to advise me that she’d taken it upon herself to help change her nappy, but that she was ever so sorry, she’d not been able to get a fresh nappy on. And she was even sorrier to report that Moo had done a wee AND a poo over her vest during the nappy-free interlude. Thanks peach.)

What Do You Like Helping Daddy Do?
Shopping! I like to sit in the trolley and help Daddy pick things. I always smell the eggs.

What Is Your Favourite Thing About Mummy?
I like it when you wear a lovely dress, like me.

What Is Your Favourite Thing About Daddy?
I like it when he lets me play with his wallet and take out all the money. (That’s one of my favourite things about Daddy too, oddly enough.)

There you have it! Cheers Mouse. Off you go to Waitrose with your supercoolfun dad.

Here are my nominations for the tag:

Mother Hermit
Becca Tooth
The Mumzilla
Beta Mummy
Whinge Whinge Wine

1. Thank the blogger that tagged you and link to their blog
2. Interview your little one using the 22 questions.
3. Tag 3 – 5 bloggers to join the #LittleOnes tag
4. Grab the #LittleOnes badge to add to your post or sidebar


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